Tuesday, July 19, 2005

Let me steal a post right quick

I am in a public library in Small-town-north-of-Dallas because Big C has no Internet in his apartment. I suspect the man to my left of reading my screen so "attention, man on my left! You smell weird and quite frankly I don't care much for your library etiquette!" Teaches him to not fuck with me.

Anyway. I'm adjusting to my new home and to be honest, it's not that bad. Oh, yeah...I almost forgot:


It's not my dream, but it'll do for now. I'll get to work in a tall building and wear slacks every day (except Fridays, when "the man" lets us wear jeans) and read a bunch of boring documents and make red marks on them. And get money. Mmm...money.

So all is well in deconstructionist-landia for the moment. In the past two weeks I've: learned what "spackling" and "caulking" mean, slept on the floor, seen a child with a hole in his throat (a "trach" as they say), gone to the driving range with friends on a Sunday morning which is another step in becoming old and traveled a total of 3,000 miles.

I'm exhausted. But excited.

Excuse me while I tell the smelly man to shower and refer him to the proper authorities.

Saturday, July 09, 2005

Procrastination, rock style

So far, I've done two loads of laundry, sniffed the inside of the dryer because I laaaaaav my fabric softener, had a Kirin Ichiban, two slices of pizza and puttered around the apartment, trying to ignore the fact that I have to pack. Nuh-uh, nope, not gonna do it. Not when I have this to share...

I made my rock star debut on July 4.

I want you to know that I felt like a prize jerk because I forgot the words to one part of the one and only song I know in the entire world and made my brother (the guitarist on the right) do a solo and then he told everyone I'll be performing in San Antonio and Dallas in August. Shuh...right! People will be lined up on the outskirts of town ready to throw tortillas and avocados at me.

By then I will have packed, though and I will have the last laugh.


Last night I saw "Primer," an indie film M picked up at Blockbuster. It's about two ambitious engineers who inadvertently create a time machine and explore the facets of humanity, pride, greed, power, possibilities and consequences that come with time travel. It's extremely complex and hard to follow because there are different versions of the two engineers in different timelines. As I've seen online, some people make sense of the film by assigning the characters (and their "doubles") numbers such as Abe 1, Abe 2, Aaron 1, Aaron 2...

The most detailed explanation of the film I've read so far is this one. I agree with most of what this guy has to say about it, although some of it is purely speculation. I'm tempted to pick this movie apart like he did, but I really don't feel like taking notes while I watch the movie. I really should be packing for the move anyway.

I will say this about the movie, though.
1. It's crazy disturbing how their doubles or later versions can't write. It brings to mind the crippling effect of making copies of oneself in an effort to make one's future more perfect. Oh, the irony!
2. The jargon is baffling and not really necessary. It feels like Shane Carruth (writer, director, "Aaron") spent so much time "building" his time traveling machine -- like daydreaming since he was a wee lad -- that he focused much of his effort into the actual construction of the machine. Maybe I'm just pissed off because I don't really understand it and he's so much smarter than me.
3. Needless to say, this guy Shane has a real talent for writing. He's inventive, imaginative, damned intelligent and down-to-earth enough to capture everyday dialogue. But what I hope people also recognize is that he's a fine director, too. For $7,000, he managed to film a piece whose substance lies within its heavy dialogue, complex plot and minimalistic "feel" -- the simple soundtrack of piano and white noise, wardrobe, props, sets...[I think it's really cool that it was filmed in Dallas.]

I highly recommend this film if you're in the mood to think and allow yourself to daydream -- to imagine a world in which you have the power and means to revise your world and defy the "natural" order of things, while facing issues of morality, arrogance and curiosity. I'm glad to have seen it and be part of what seems to be a cultish sci-fi sub-culture of "Primer" admirers.

Sunday, July 03, 2005


I have a nice friend who's letting my man M and me stay in his apartment and cramp his style. By style, I mean playing video games and drinking whiskey on school nights.

For the next six weeks I have to close the door to go to the bathroom.

For the next six weeks I will also watch television in my room because too much ESPN hurts my lady parts.

If you don't see much of me, it's because I'm adjusting.

If you do, it's because I'm adjusting.

I still have no job.

I still have a dream.

I will now have to ride an airplane to see my family.

My toenails are red.