Saturday, February 05, 2005

A slightly belated happy new year

The new year is upon us...well, sort of...and I would like to be the, um, 5 millionth 4 hundred 82nd person to bid 2004 an eager, sour and tired GOOD RIDDANCE! To recap the events that made 2004 the year of things that sucketh much, here's a list.

1. I moved to San Antonio, the city of smog, retarded tourists, and home to the horrible place where I work. It's similar to my hometown, which should be a good thing, but it's not. My family and closest friends aren't here and that makes me miss them more.

2. I started working at the worst so-called company in the world.

3. Too many of my friends got engaged this year. And I didn't.

4. My home is no longer the place where my friends can come over at any given time of the day. For my friends to come over, much planning and driving needs to take place.

5. As far as personal literary goals are concerned, I achieved none. I've looked up countless fiction contests online, but entered none.

That's enough for now. I'm bringing myself down, which was not the plan. Despite the above list, so much good has come of the sucky events of 2004.

1. Moving to San Antonio, though rather a sucky event indeed, has somehow made me pleasantly nostalgic for the other places I've lived. Being far away from the people I love most, I've been forced to reach out to them better than I ever had before. And being the eternal optimistic people watcher, I've found myself looking for the good in people a lot more than before. The same applies to:

2. Working at the worst so-called company in the world (now, wait a minute: I don't claim to know every single company in the entire world, but let me have my exaggeration, people. It's really fucked up over there). Being around bad people can be good thing. Not only has it made me feel better about myself and the people I love most in the world, but I've picked up quite a few people skills that count toward my grown-up deconstructionist quota. I've learned to bite my tongue when I feel like verbally ripping someone's head off their neck and just breathe. In the end, I've accomplished something I couldn't have before -- self-control. I guess some might call that acquiring maturity.

2 1/2. Plus, working at the worst so-called company in the world has helped me hone professional skills that might be very useful for my résumé and portfolio. I've had my first tv spot air on Lifetime -- my first attempt at professionally writing ad copy -- and I am considered to be the guru that deals with all that is Spanish.

3. Some of my friends got engaged -- good for them, really. If I didn't, it's really okay by me. I'm secure enough in my relationship to not need a ring that is only the first step into a bride-zilladome and insanely stressful wedding/party planning. But rings sure are pretty...

4. Despite our friends being further away, they still make an effort to visit on weekends. I appreciate that and now I look forward to the weekend so much more.

5. I'm really just whining when I talk about not achieving my goals. The truth is that I'm writing so much more this year than ever. I have a long road ahead of me (somewhere along said road is hopefully a book deal and/or a Pulitzer Prize), but I've started to pave the way and that's refreshing.

So here's a new list of events I hope to happen in 2005 (that is, if we're not already tired of lists).

1. I hope to get a new job. That's a given provided I am horrifically unhappy between the hours of 8 to 5 Monday through Friday. I want to earn my glass of wine in the evening and not sit at a computer-less desk with a red pen, afraid to look up because the boss might walk by the door and look at me disapprovingly.

2. I hope to move into a larger apartment. This one bedroom, one bath is too small for us.

3. I will lose 10 lbs. by my birthday, which is almost a month away. Okay, I'd be happy with 5 lbs. M will lose 30 by the summer.

4. I hope to see the people I love most with frequency and that they are all happy and healthy.

5. I hope to establish and maintain a relationship with my half-sister and my nieces, who are precious and need a cool aunt like me around. Okay, maybe I need them more than they need me.

6. And finally, I hope to keep writing, get better at it and that someone notices and gives me money for it.