Boozy? Who's boozy?
Ick. It's been an icky past few days -- the weather, my mood, just everything. [Pouting like a trust fund baby who didn't get a BMW for her 16th birthday] Well, today's a new day, right?
So guess what? I've been accused of having a drinking problem. I shouldn't really care because I know myself better than anyone and those who know me best have told me in all honesty that they see it as a European thing -- not that I'm Euro or anything, but a drink after work, with dinner or breakfast (just kidding!)...not a problem in my eyes. But I guess it's enough of an issue for a "friend" to talk about it and for it to get back to my mom.
And then I think, what the fuck is wrong with people in Brownsville? Gossip reigns in the hometown and it's like there's nothing better to do than talk about people who aren't there to hold their drink high and defend themselves while expertly avoiding spilling on the carpet. Said friend is now excommunicated indefinitely. So are all toxins.
So today marks Day 3 without my "European" indulgence. I plan to make it until the end of the month. To stop the gossip...you know.
So guess what? I've been accused of having a drinking problem. I shouldn't really care because I know myself better than anyone and those who know me best have told me in all honesty that they see it as a European thing -- not that I'm Euro or anything, but a drink after work, with dinner or breakfast (just kidding!)...not a problem in my eyes. But I guess it's enough of an issue for a "friend" to talk about it and for it to get back to my mom.
And then I think, what the fuck is wrong with people in Brownsville? Gossip reigns in the hometown and it's like there's nothing better to do than talk about people who aren't there to hold their drink high and defend themselves while expertly avoiding spilling on the carpet. Said friend is now excommunicated indefinitely. So are all toxins.
So today marks Day 3 without my "European" indulgence. I plan to make it until the end of the month. To stop the gossip...you know.
posted by deconstructionist at 7:18 AM
3 Comments:
if having a drink with breakfast, brunch, lunch, linner, dinner, and dinfast is wrong, then i don't want to be right. you know if i were there, this whole non-dr... i can't even bring myself to type that "word" ... needless to say, you're loud, you're a bitch (imagine that in donatella voice), and you're a boozer. i love that, but we're through. and yeah, gossip travels fast and is apparently good for us (read my blog for why). yeah, apparently words are being said about me because moody is back in brownsville at the herald for the job i was going to apply for, and apparently he's been asking about me. total bullshit. and this is officially a long comment. i feel like i should say some more. um, poppycock? hockey tuna penis nipples? testicular sensation? ogre sack? lone star tastes like bananas? hey, maybe since you're ND, that's why i've been drinking more. like sympathy drinking, only i didn't know about it until now. ha. (imagine that ha in alf voice). oh yeah, i might be housesitting for my friend lyman next week and i'll have the company of his three, lovely cats. it'll be a pussy party and you won't be invited. ok, what else can i say ... "i'm masturbating. i told you i'd be doing that all day." oh yeah, and tuna salad on wheat sammie from 7Eleven=yummy in my tummy. let's play some gin rummy? is that a mummy? i want a bear that is gummy. ok, i'm stretching now ... this could have all been said in an e-mail, but no, i choose this medium. eat. it.
Thanks, guys. Yeah, this former friend has his own shit I can totally talk about. I can even tell you who he is. But I won't -- mostly because I don't remember if he reads this blog -- but also because I'm better than that. I'm just disappointed. If you ask me personally, I'll tell ya. I know Ltflux knows who it is. They love each other. Ha. (Alf voice). But yeah. Had a few drinks. I'm over it now. (Just kidding -- about the drinks, that is.) Now this is turning into a long comment, too. Okay, bye. Gonna go get fucked up and have pussy envy (of Ltflux). The end.
Mffldirk/Big C/Doo-doo-head: Get out of my life. You and your whiskey.
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