Top ten reasons to quit smoking
1.) They say it's bad for you.
2.) Your teeth end up looking like popcorn kernels.
3.) You run the risk of small children throwing stones at you chanting, "dirty lung, dirty lung!"
4.) It's expensive.
5.) You have to brush your teeth extra hard before you go to the dentist because you don't want her to know you smoke.
6.) People are slightly intimidated by the cloud of smoke that surrounds you. They think you're the devil.
7.) You age quickly. The horror!
8.) You have to clear your throat before you answer the phone.
9.) When you're in bed with your significant other, they tell you your hair smells like toast.
10.) Ashes are a bitch to clean off the carpet.
This is the year, my dearies -- the year I quit. But never fear -- I will still find a way to intimidate people with the cloud of smoke.
2.) Your teeth end up looking like popcorn kernels.
3.) You run the risk of small children throwing stones at you chanting, "dirty lung, dirty lung!"
4.) It's expensive.
5.) You have to brush your teeth extra hard before you go to the dentist because you don't want her to know you smoke.
6.) People are slightly intimidated by the cloud of smoke that surrounds you. They think you're the devil.
7.) You age quickly. The horror!
8.) You have to clear your throat before you answer the phone.
9.) When you're in bed with your significant other, they tell you your hair smells like toast.
10.) Ashes are a bitch to clean off the carpet.
This is the year, my dearies -- the year I quit. But never fear -- I will still find a way to intimidate people with the cloud of smoke.
posted by deconstructionist at 12:07 PM
3 Comments:
I'm sure No. 3 meant to say "Getting stoned and chanting 'dirty lung, dirty lung.'" But maybe that's just me...
and it's not too expensive. i mean, we don't live in L.A. or New York. Now $8 per pack; that's expensive!
Yes. To both. Yes.
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