My Not-Space
"The dignity of the artist lies in his duty of keeping awake the sense of wonder in the world. In this long vigil he often has to vary his methods of stimulation; but in this long vigil he is also himself striving against a continual tendency to sleep." ~ Marc Chagall
I was poking around in MySpace and thought I'd check in on my niece, who is about to turn 18. Like many kids of our siblings, she seems so much younger than me, even though I'm closer to her age than my own sister's.
She's a precocious one, this little niece of mine. She posts random bulletins about "Fuck this shit" and "I'm so tired of being single," etc. She calls all her friends her "niggas" and is pro-life and loves her best friend, Saggy.
This sums up what I know about Tiffany.
In my ongoing state -- one of girl-lonelieness -- I find myself wanting to reach out to the few women/girls in my life. Tiffany is one of those girls.
Perhaps it's because I was never close to her mother, my sister. My sister is my father's daughter from his first marriage, and she is now 40. I saw her a few times growing up, and maybe twice in the last 10 years. There is no reason for us to not be close, except for the fact that we aren't close. She lives in Nashville, I've always lived in Texas. Even if I was in Nashville, I don't think I'd be lying if I said I'd go out of my way to spend time with her.
Tiffany represents that "lost sister." My only successful sibling relationship is the one I have with my younger brother, who is my best friend. The only kind of sister I know how to be is an older sister.
Tiffany will never be my sister. She'll never really be my niece. It's too late for that. The best I can hope for is a cousin-type of friendship with her, marbled with my nerdy, idiosyncratic comments on her MySpace page about how her hair looks nice in this picture or that.
On top of that, her settings don't post comments automatically. They have to be "approved." So if a photo comment from her 27-year-old aunt is too nerdy, she might just deny it.
That's the reality of MySpace.
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I was poking around in MySpace and thought I'd check in on my niece, who is about to turn 18. Like many kids of our siblings, she seems so much younger than me, even though I'm closer to her age than my own sister's.
She's a precocious one, this little niece of mine. She posts random bulletins about "Fuck this shit" and "I'm so tired of being single," etc. She calls all her friends her "niggas" and is pro-life and loves her best friend, Saggy.
This sums up what I know about Tiffany.
In my ongoing state -- one of girl-lonelieness -- I find myself wanting to reach out to the few women/girls in my life. Tiffany is one of those girls.
Perhaps it's because I was never close to her mother, my sister. My sister is my father's daughter from his first marriage, and she is now 40. I saw her a few times growing up, and maybe twice in the last 10 years. There is no reason for us to not be close, except for the fact that we aren't close. She lives in Nashville, I've always lived in Texas. Even if I was in Nashville, I don't think I'd be lying if I said I'd go out of my way to spend time with her.
Tiffany represents that "lost sister." My only successful sibling relationship is the one I have with my younger brother, who is my best friend. The only kind of sister I know how to be is an older sister.
Tiffany will never be my sister. She'll never really be my niece. It's too late for that. The best I can hope for is a cousin-type of friendship with her, marbled with my nerdy, idiosyncratic comments on her MySpace page about how her hair looks nice in this picture or that.
On top of that, her settings don't post comments automatically. They have to be "approved." So if a photo comment from her 27-year-old aunt is too nerdy, she might just deny it.
That's the reality of MySpace.
posted by deconstructionist at 6:54 PM
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